have you ever met a person that you’re forced to mantain a level of cold civility towards but if you could you would totally punch them as hard as you could but you can’t so every second you’re forced to be around them you’re thinking of smashing their face in just so they’ll shut up
the worst thing about tumblr is that you read all those pro feminist/anti rape/anti misogyny posts all the time everyday and then you actually go outside and talk to a random guy and it feels like being punched in the face with a chair
i’m supposed to be on a school-approved sabbatical but all i can do is think about how loathe i am to return on friday. i’ve talked with my counselor about potentially taking morning courses instead of noon ones but that fucks my life up because i have so many appointments of my own and for my mom already set through late next month ready to go.
i left in angry tears yesterday after finally reaching my breaking point with the most consistently misogynistic and repulsive asshole i have ever met in real time. of course, his friend (also the guy who was relentlessly after me in a romantic fashion, who i had been turning down since the day i met him like nearly two-three months ago, who has talked to me, a black female, about how much fun he had doing blackface and referring to people, most likely black, as ‘ghetto rats’ and having his creeper friend legitimately proposition me with money to go out with him) was all up in my face for having the audacity to confront him. i went about it in a way i’m not personally proud of but after the series of legal, financial, and stresses i face as someone who cares for a disabled parent, i had nothing else to give.
i also wasn’t suprised that a so-called ‘friend’ of mine (internalized misogyny off the charts, will literally always take the side of anything with a penis, especially if i’m involved and am not having anything they’re attempting to peddle, i sincerely wish i were exaggerting) was also taking up for him. she’ll complain to me about how disrespectful and crude this guy is, how he creeps her out by calling her telling her inappropiate things, how he will rub himself up against her behind if she makes the ‘mistake’ of wearing her gym gear to class.
she had a similar reaction to a gross instructor we had for our internship, and when we had an opportunity to do something about it, she quieted and when i tried to volunteer information to our genuinely great boss, she stopped me.
i am just legimtimately sick of everything and everyone. even people who aren’t as actively gross irritate me due to their complicity in tolerating it.
my counselor said she’d address the issue, and i believe she will, but to what extent that will actually change anything, i don’t know. i don’t want to uproot anything i’ve set in place, because i did so with great care, and i don’t know if i’d be facing a worse situation in the morning class, and i don’t think i could handle walking into anything worse.
She dreamt she sat the Iron Throne, high above them all.
The courtiers were brightly colored mice below. Great lords and proud ladies knelt before her. Bold young knights laid their swords at her feet and pleaded for her favors, and the queen smiled down at them. Until the dwarf appeared as if from nowhere, pointing at her and howling with laughter. The lords and ladies began to chuckle too, hiding their smiles behind their hands. Only then did the queen realize she was naked.
Horrified, she tried to cover herself with her hands. The barbs and blades of the Iron Throne bit into her flesh as she crouched to hide her shame. Blood ran red down her legs, as steel teeth gnawed at her buttocks. When she tried to stand, her foot slipped through a gap in the twisted metal. The more she struggled the more the throne engulfed her, tearing chunks of flesh from her breasts and belly, slicing at her arms and legs until they were slick and red, glistening.
And all the while her brother capered below, laughing."
In the very first moments of her very first point of view chapter, George R.R. Martin tells you exactly what Cersei Lannister wants (power, respect, acclaim), and what she fears (Tyrion because she’s certain he will kill her like she’s certain he killed her son, being laughed at, being naked not at her own behest but to shame her and having it tear her apart) and in Cersei II in Dance she faces those last two fears and she survives because she’s Cersei Lannister and Jaime always thought she was beautiful and nothing (short of her imminent death) will stop her from claiming her rightful place as Queen. It’s all she wants. It’s all she works for. (via suddendefense)
#book!cersei is my everything
The Supremes - You Keep Me Hangin’ On
Central to pro-sex thought is the idea that there is a plethora of
sexual preferences and practices which profoundly violate societal restrictions.
Among these restricted sexual activities—which are seen as
wildly divergent—are cross-generational sex (to use their euphemism for child sexual abuse), fetishism, sadomasochism, and the making and use of pornography. Such deviant sexualities, so the theory goes, are at the bottom of a hierarchy of sexual privilege, which has heterosexuality, marriage, and procreation at its pinnacle, and “vanilla” homosexuality somewhere in the middle.
"Those engaging in these privileged acts," Carol Vance writes in her introduction to Pleasure and Danger, "enjoy good name and good fortune."
All of this sounds logical and persuasive until you move beyond
society’s pieties and look at what it actually practices. Then it becomes clear that, instead of being forbidden or persecuted, these frowned upon sexual activities are, in the case of men, promoted, encouraged, and rewarded, and, in the case of women, imposed and enforced.
Moreover, instead of being incredibly different from one another, they all have a common denominator: a power relationship that replicates in miniature the power relations of society.
How deviant is cross-generational sex, for example, when, laws
against child sexual abuse notwithstanding, the activity is so popular that more than a quarter of all females are sexually abused as children?
How nonconformist is fetishism when “regular guys” proudly identify themselves as “tit men” or “ass men,” and the best-selling men’s entertainment magazines devote whole glossy pages to just our genitals, just our breasts?
How taboo is sadomasochism when Penthouse boosts sales by displaying Asian women tied up like slabs of meat and strung
up from trees and trendy sportswear manufacturers successfully promote their products by showing battered-looking models in torn clothing?
How forbidden is pornography when, aided by anti-obscenity laws, the industry rakes in more than the film and record industries combined?
As for the hierarchy of sexual privilege, it too sounds convincing,
until you examine the position of women in this hierarchy: Heterosexuality, procreation, and marriage may mean privilege for men, but they mean something very different for the married woman. Her “good fortune” is a 1 out of 3 chance of being a battered wife, a 1 out of 7 chance of being raped by her own husband, and a statistically undetermined probability that she will be her husband’s domestic servant and that her identity will be subsumed in his.
The so-called good fortune of lesbian feminists is either public denigration or invisibility and often loss of jobs and family.
It’s not that “cross-generational sex,” fetishism, sadomasochism, and trafficking in or using pornography are never punished.
Sometimes they are, but never enough to dampen their popularity. Just enough to make them seem forbidden and keep them exciting.
It’s not that there are no sexual choices that truly violate society’s rules. What I am suggesting is that the “deviant” sexual practices defended and promoted by the pro-sex people aren’t really proscribed by society; they’re prescribed.
They’re not really deviant at all. They’re good soldier conformity."
- When Women Defend Pornography, Dorchen Leidholdt
Debunking the Myth of “Vanilla Privilege”: That ‘deviant sexuality’ is in actuality, mainstream in a porn & rape culture.